My heart is heavy

It is after two in the morning and I have found myself laying in bed with a million different things running through my head. I'm sure we all have times like these..and of course conveniently, they happen when we should be resting for a new day! 

There are a few things that are heavy on my mind and heart tonight. I figured that since I am unable to fall asleep at the moment..maybe jotting some ramblings down will help clear my mind. 

1.  For the past week, a round of cold virus has been going through our home. Trey started it, Keisha caught just a tad of it, I caught it, and Jayden now has it.  When Jayden catches anything...he catches it hardcore. The past two nights have been without much sleep as I am up with him for the majority of the night..trying to nurse him back to wellness. Aside from all of the cold symptoms, he's now formed a rash that (although not noticeable unless you are staring at his bare skin) has covered the majority of his little body. The combination of everything has had me a worried momma. If he doesn't improve tonight, Mike and I will be taking him in tomorrow. We had believed that the rash was likely due to changing our laundry detergent..but I'd rather be safe and see what the Doc. says.  I hate when the kiddo's are sick...they are so miserable and there's nothing I can do to just make it leave their precious bodies immediately. :( Sad momma face! 
2. I have two friends (well...one is more of a former friend) that have been on my mind lately. The first is a close friend of mine who has shared many high's and  low's with me. She's been there for me through an assortment of events. We are currently seperated by distance, which always sucks..but we keep in touch via social networking and neither of us ever hesitate to be there for one another when needed. She is currently battling some personal demons of her own. Although I know 100% that she is extremely strong and WILL get through these obstacles...my heart aches. I hate that she's in the situation to begin with. I hate that I can't be there for her to physically show her support..and I hate that again, I can't do anything to help or make it go away. I find myself wondering how she is..and how she is. Does she feel lonely? I could understand that feeling...and I WISH that I could just let her know that she's not alone. 
3. Another friend..or well...former. I'm not real sure how to explain that one. The short version is that this individual is someone that I was close with for many years. We were best friends that were connected to the hip. We got each other..we knew one another more than anyone else..and at times...more than we knew ourselves. A few years ago...we had some problems that led to us cutting ties to our friendship. It was pretty rough. Anyhow...I recently heard from her and received an update. She's been going through a lot of medical problems and had admitted to doing some things that not only do I not agree with...but It makes me sad. Sad to know what she's doing. Sad to know how this will affect her life (even though she currently doesn't see that...or even see the downside to it). It saddens me because I can relate to the frustration, anger, dissapointment, questions, and scared feelings that come with medical issues. Sad because she has children. Children that need their mother.  Her and I aren't close anymore. I hear from her maybe once every couple of months now. But despite us not being close...I do care. It's hard for me not to care about others. It doesn't matter whether I know the individual or not..and it doesn't matter whether we are close, or no longer speaking. 

Life just sucks sometimes.